


Cheater

by my_mad_fatuation



Series: Loner [3]
Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11629371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: Finn has gotten used to his newfound popularity at school, but Rae worries that he's changed too much.





	Cheater

“You are such a cheater!” said Rae.

She laughed and reached over to pull the cards out of Finn’s hands. “Let me see!” she squealed as he wrestled them away from her.

“Never!” he replied defiantly, backing up to the head of her bed until he couldn’t get any further away from her. “You need to learn to trust me,” he added.

“Then you need to stop cheating!” She climbed up the bed towards him, knocking over the pile of cards between them with her knee.

He held his cards up as high as he could, and poked her in the side with his finger when she tried to grab for them.

“Quit it!” she giggled as he kept tickling her. She pushed his hand away while continuing to reach for his cards, but wound up falling gracelessly on top of him.

As she propped herself up with her arms, she found herself face to face with him, so she kissed him.

Her actions surprised him, but he gave into it, letting his hands rest on her back. She repositioned herself on top of him, kneeling with one leg on either side of his lap. He could feel his palms getting sweaty as he held onto her, unintentionally pressing his handful of cards against her.

She grabbed his hand as he started to slide it down her back. “Wait,” she said breathlessly, and Finn worried he’d been about to cross a line he shouldn’t have.

Though they had been together for nearly six months, he had yet to touch her anywhere but her arms or back—plus occasionally tickling her sides. As far as he knew, it was his choice, but seeing as she stopped him from taking things further just now, he wondered if maybe it was her preference as well.

Suddenly, Rae ripped the cards out of his sweaty palm and sat back to look at them.

“I knew it!” she said. “I just asked you for a queen and you said you had none,” she added, holding up the queen of hearts. “You absolute cheater!”

“That’s not fair!” he argued, trying to get the cards back from her.

She smirked at him and tossed the cards behind her before grabbing the placket of his shirt. “I’m sick of cards anyway,” she said.

“Then why did you go through so much effort to prove I was cheating?” he asked as she brought her face closer to his again.

“Because,” she said, giving him another kiss to accentuate the pause between her words, “you’re a cheater.”

***

Finn no longer dreaded the walk into the school in the mornings. The people who passed would actually say hello to him, and he would say hello back. Some of them he even knew by name.

And this was the case whether or not Rae was beside him. People actually knew who he was, not just that he was Rae’s boyfriend. He was becoming popular in his own right.

Of course, he knew it would all go away were he to break up with her, but he had no plans of doing so. Things were going too well in all aspects of his life.

“Hi, Finn, how’s it going?” one girl asked him as he walked into the classroom for his first period.

“It’s going well, thanks, Lana,” he replied, giving her a small wave.

“Nelson,” said one of the guys in his class, nudging him with his elbow as he walked past. “Sup?”

“Not much… bro.”

Finn took his new favourite seat at the back of the class, so he could see everything that was going on and talk to people quietly while the teacher was giving the lesson.

Yes, his school life was totally different now, as was his personal life. He found himself at a different party almost every weekend. (He made sure to get all his homework done Friday night so he could go out Saturday and recuperate on Sunday.)

Most of the time he went with Rae, though sometimes it was just the guys from football, which he now played. He wasn’t even that terrible at it.

Rae’s life was different now, too. Somehow being with Finn had managed to increase her popularity—ordinary folks saw her as one of them now—and they were the hottest power couple in school. Which made her untouchable.

It was kind of ironic that becoming more relatable to others was also what distanced her from them. Absolutely everyone would talk to her, but nobody would talk _with_ her.

She lived for her moments alone with Finn, which were becoming few and far between. It seemed they were always at some party, or he was at football practice, or he was surrounded by a gaggle of girls in the school corridors. He was practically a celebrity.

“You should keep an eye on him, you know,” said Stacey as she sat at an outdoor table with Rae, who was watching Finn talk to a bunch of girls from a distance.

“What for?” Rae asked, prying her eyes off him so she could prove that she didn’t need to keep her eye on him.

“You know exactly what those girls are after,” Stacey replied, breaking off pieces of her sandwich without eating them.

Rae and Stacey had become “friends” again, in that Stacey started sucking up to Rae once Rae’s popularity skyrocketed.

“That doesn’t mean they’re going to get it,” said Rae.

“Don’t be naïve, Rae. He’s a guy, and guys only think about one thing.”

“Not Finn.”

“Oh, please.”

“I trust him completely,” she added. Besides, she thought, he didn’t seem to care about that one thing at all.

***

“Why do we even play cards anymore if you can’t trust me?” Finn said as Rae tried to wrest the cards from his hands once again.

“I told you, I’ll trust you when you stop cheating!” she said. She struggled against him for a minute before he managed to twist his hand out of her grasp.

“Fine, you want to see my cards that badly, then go look at them!” he added, throwing the cards onto the floor next to the bed.

She looked down at the floor and then back at him, her breathing heavy from all the exertion. He could tell by the way her chest was rising and falling against him.

“Why, you—” she began, though she was unable to finish as Finn suddenly planted his lips on hers. It was rare for him to initiate a kiss, so she was a bit surprised, but she wasn’t complaining.

When she broke away, he looked at her like he was afraid he’d done something wrong, but she placed a hand on his chest to reassure him as she slid down onto her side, facing him. He wasn’t sure what to do until she held onto the back of his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, so he slid down next to her.

His kisses were tentative at first, but when it became clear that she was into it, he immersed himself more. She opened her mouth a little, urging him to explore with his tongue—something he’d never done before, but he seemed pretty adept, despite his initial trepidation. The excitement of trying something new scared him a bit, but her contented moaning encouraged him to continue.

He let his hand rest uncertainly on the side of her stomach as she drew him closer, letting her leg rub up against his. He immediately moved his hand down her thigh, like he was trying to stop her.

It didn’t take her long to realize why.

“Finn,” she said, “ is that…?”

He looked away shyly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Don’t be sorry; I’m just surprised, is all,” she added, glancing down between their bodies. “I didn’t know you… felt that way about me.”

“Of course I do,” he said, though he still couldn’t look at her.

“I don’t know, I thought you might be one of those people who doesn’t really get… excited… by stuff.”

He rolled away onto his back and covered his face with his arms. “Well, if this isn’t embarrassing, then I don’t know what is.”

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed,” she said with a laugh. “It’s a normal thing. You’re normal. Not that you’d be abnormal if you didn’t, but—”

“Did you think the reason we haven’t done anything is because I can’t get it up?” he asked, lowering his arms to his sides.

“I wasn’t exactly sure what the reason was…”

“Trust me, I’ve spent the past six months suppressing my erections around you,” he said as he sat up and hugged his knees into his chest.

“Why?” she said, sitting up as well and placing a hand on his leg.

“Because, I’m not… ready.” He hung his head and exhaled loudly. “I sound like such a weirdo, I know.”

“You don’t. It’s okay to not want to have sex,” she added.

He pressed his palm against his forehead. “It’s not that I don’t want to…” he began. “Believe me, I want to.”

She rubbed his arm soothingly and nodded.

“I mean, it’s all I can think about, some days,” he continued. “It’s just… I’m scared, Rae.” He chuckled softly. “It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.”

“No, it doesn’t,” she said. “It’s perfectly normal to be scared. I was scared my first time.”

“But I’m a guy. Guys aren’t supposed to be scared of it.”

“Says who?”

“According to popular culture, I am supposed to be obsessed with getting some and stop at nothing until I do.”

Rae chortled. “Well, according to popular culture, as a fat girl I’m supposed to not want it at all. That doesn’t stop me from being me, though.”

“Isn’t that frustrating for you?” he asked. “The fact that you want it but I can’t give it to you?”

“It can be, I suppose,” she said. “But I have ways around that.”

Finn frowned at her, confused, so she made a jerking off motion in the air with her hand. His eyes went wide and his ears turned pink as soon as he understood what she was saying.

She sat back against the wall next to the bed and tucked her feet under his legs. “Do you ever…?”

He laughed nervously as he looked at his knees in front of him.

“That’s interesting,” she said, chewing on her thumbnail.

“Is it?”

“I’m just saying, there is stuff we can do together without going all the way, you know?”

She watched him wipe his sweaty palms on his jeans and could she tell that she’d made him very nervous.

“How about we just go back to playing cards for now?” she suggested. “But no cheating, this time.”

***

“Finn is cheating on you,” Stacey said, slamming her hands down on the table where Rae was sitting and reading during her free period.

Rae rolled her eyes and put down her book. “What makes you say that?”

“Lois just saw him leave the Back Stacks with that girl, Lana,” said Stacey as she sat down. “I mean, I’m not sure how far they went, but doing anything in the Back Stacks has got to be construed as cheating, right?”

“It would be if I believed a word of it,” said Rae.

“Why would I make this up?”

“I can think of a million reasons why you might do that, number one being that you’re jealous.”

Stacey’s jaw dropped in indignation. “I’m not jealous of your little fling with Smelly Smellson, okay? I’m only concerned about you, as a friend.”

“Well, thank you for the concern, but I’m fine,” Rae replied.

“I thought you might say so,” Stacey added, folding her arms. “So I brought proof.”

She snapped her fingers in the air and a girl stepped out from behind the corner of the building.

“Rae,” said Stacey as the girl walked towards them, “this is Lana.”

“Yes, I know who Lana is,” said Rae, growing irritated.

“Lana, why don’t you tell Rae exactly what happened in the library?” Stacey continued.

A look of fake sympathy was painted across Lana’s face. “I’m really sorry, Rae, I didn’t mean for it to happen, but he asked me to help him find a book, and then…”

“And then what, Lana?” said Stacey, like she was coaching her.

“He kissed me,” Lana went on. “And I know I should have stopped it there, Rae, because I consider you a friend, but you know how it is. When the most popular boy in school wants to fool around with you, you do it.”

“You know all about that, right, Rae?” Stacey added.

Rae looked from Lana to Stacey and back again. “That’s quite a fairy tale the two of you have concocted,” she said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to meet my devoted boyfriend before his football practice starts.”

***

Rae found Finn sitting on one of the couches by the football field, tying up his cleats and laughing with a couple of the guys on the team.

“Hey, girl,” he said when he spotted her. “Come to wish me luck?”

“You need luck for a practice?” she asked, taking a seat next to him as the other guys got up to give them some space.

“I need luck for everything,” he replied with a laugh. “I’m utterly hopeless, you know that.”

“I dunno, I think you can hold your own out there.”

He looked around to make sure no one was watching them, then pulled her close by the arm and gave her a kiss.

“What was that for?”

“I need a reason?” he said.

“It’s not because you’re feeling guilty, are you?” she said.

“Guilty about what?”

Rae exhaled a laugh. “You’ll never believe it, but this girl, Lana, claims you fooled around with her in the Back Stacks earlier.”

“She said that?” he asked, looking concerned.

“Don’t worry, I know you didn’t go into the Back Stacks with her, she’s just trying to help Stacey mess with me.”

“Well…”

She snapped her head up to look at him. “Well, what?”

“I mean, technically I did go back there with her,” he said.

“You did?”

“Just to help her find a book. We found it and then we left. Nothing happened.”

“Is she not capable of finding books on her own?” she scoffed.

“I didn’t ask.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you should next time!”

Finn couldn’t understand why Rae seemed to be angry with him for helping out a friend. Not even a friend; a friendly acquaintance. “I was just trying to be nice, okay? Relax.”

“Maybe you need to stop being so nice to other girls, then,” she said. “When clearly they are just taking advantage of your niceness.”

“So?” he replied. “If I’m supposed to trust you despite all the rumours about your dalliances, then you need to trust me, too.”

“How can I trust you,” she began, looking down at her hands, “when you’re too trusting of others?”

Finn blinked hard in disbelief at what he was hearing. “Are you serious right now?”

“Why would you go to the Back Stacks with another girl when you know people are going to talk about it?” she said, almost shouting.

“I don’t believe this,” he said. “You’re the one who always tries to see the good in people!”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who’s supposed to have a healthy skepticism about everything! What happened?”

“What do you mean, what happened? You happened!” He was almost shouting now. “I was fine before you set your sights on me and sucked me into this world of yours. I didn’t ask for any of it!”

“Yet you seem to be adapting quite nicely.”

“Are you honestly angry at me for becoming popular, like you are?” he asked as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“I’m angry at you for becoming a dick,” she said. “It’s like I don’t even know you, sometimes. And how can I trust someone I don’t even know?”

“Well,” he replied, looking away, “if that’s how you feel, then…”

“Then what?”

“Then maybe we just aren’t right for each other anymore.”

Rae felt like she’d just been hit by a dump truck. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying… maybe we’re done.”

***

“Hi, Finn.”

Finn looked over to see Stacey standing beside him, apparently trying to get his attention. “I’ll catch up with you guys in a bit,” he said to his mates who were standing with him.

“You look nice today,” Stacey added.

“What do you want?” he asked her impatiently.

“I was just saying hi.”

“Hi, then.” He turned to walk away, but she put a hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out with you and Rae,” she said.

He scowled at her. “Are you kidding? You kept trying to break us up,” he said. “And you succeeded.”

“I’m sorry about that, really, it’s just… I couldn’t stand to see you with her anymore,” she continued. “Not when you and I would be so much better together.”

“Haven’t you already made this pitch? I’m pretty sure I already declined it.”

“Yes, but now you have a taste for popularity, and you wouldn’t want to see all of this disappear, would you?”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I’m suggesting that with your… everyman charm… and my status, we could be the most popular duo in the whole school. There would be nothing that you couldn’t have if you wanted it.”

He was mildly intrigued. “Like what?”

“Well, I mean, you saw the way girls were lining up to lure you away from Rae, and they all _like_ her,” she said. “Imagine what lengths they would go to to pry you out of my heartless grasp, am I right?”

“You could have literally any and every girl at school,” she continued. “Even Jess P., and she’s a lesbian.”

“So, you’re saying I should pretend to date you so that I can actually date other girls?” he said.

“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

“And what do you get out of it? Honestly?”

“Do you know how jealous my ex will be when he sees me with you? The hottest guy in school?” she said. “It’ll be glorious.”

“That’s it? You just want to make your ex jealous?”

“It won’t be long before he’s crawling back to me, you’ll see.”

Finn thought about it for a moment. “What would I have to do?”

“Just be seen with me. Holding hands at school, making out at parties; the usual.”

“We’d have to make out with each other?” He grimaced.

“Only in front of people, to keep up appearances,” she explained. “It’s not like I’m chomping at the bit to get your slimy tongue in my mouth, believe me. But we all have to make sacrifices.”

“I suppose… if we keep it to a minimum… then maybe we could—”

“Excellent!” She leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, which he wiped off. “We’ll make our debut on Saturday. So you’d better start sucking Polos.”

***

Rae wasn’t sure why she was even going to this party. Just because Stacey insisted? Since when did she do things just to please Stacey?

The thing was, Stacey had actually been a good friend the past few days, since Rae’s breakup with Finn. She consoled her and offered to go out shopping with her to distract her from her misery—of course, for Rae, shopping was a different kind of misery, but she could appreciate the sentiment.

“Come out on Saturday, get your mind off things,” Stacey had told her. “Maybe you’ll even meet someone else.”

But Rae didn’t want to meet someone else. She’d already found somebody who got her in a way that no one else did, and she completely blew it by letting other people get inside her head.

There was a decent chance that he would be at this party, though; she figured it might be a good opportunity to make things up with him.

She spent the first half hour at the party rehearsing in her head what she was going to say if she saw him there. _“Finn, I’m sorry I told you that I couldn’t trust you, and—”_

“Finn!”

Rae looked up when she heard Stacey call out Finn’s name, surprised and confused that she sounded pleased to see him. He started walking towards the two of them, and Stacey stood up when he got close.

“Babe,” she added, reaching her arms towards him, “I’m so glad you made it.”

She kissed him on the cheek before pulling him by back towards the sofa. “Have a seat,” she told him, then looked at Rae and said, “Do you mind scooting over?”

“I was about to get up anyway,” Rae said as she stood, holding her drink tightly like her grip on everything was slipping, even reality.

Finn watched her walk away until he felt a swift yank on his sleeve as Stacey urged him to sit. “I didn’t know she was going to be here,” he said quietly, slouching with his arms folded.

“Of course she’s here,” Stacey replied as she pried his arms apart so she could wrap one of them around her waist and snuggle up to him. “It’ll be a little while before her social standing plummets.”

“Her social standing is going to plummet?” he asked.

“You and me are going to blow a whole through the roof,” she said, patting him on the leg. “No one can keep up with that.”

“You and I,” he corrected without even thinking about it.

Stacey twisted her neck so she could glare at him. “Don’t do that.”

Rae went to get herself another drink to try and forget about what she’d just seen—Stacey greeted Finn with a kiss on the cheek? What?—but the pair of them were still in her sightline, and she couldn’t help but sneak glances.

Stacey repositioned herself next to Finn in order to face him, but held onto his arm so he wouldn’t let go of her waist.

“She’s watching,” she said quietly as she fake-smiled at him.

“Is she?” he asked, looking around the room.

She grabbed his chin and turned his face back towards her. “It’s show time.”

Before he could even ask what she meant, she had seized the back of his head and pulled him in for the most awkward and unpleasant kiss of his life.

Rae couldn’t watch anymore, so she slammed her half-empty cup on the table and stormed off.

“Jeez, could you warn me first?” said Finn once Stacey had stopped.

“Quit being a baby,” she said, leaning against him with the side of her body. “We have to act like we’re into each other if this is going to work.”

“Yeah, but do we have to do _that_?”

“That’s just the tip of the iceberg, Finn, dear.”

***

“What are you doing?” Finn asked. He and Stacey were standing behind the Philosophy section of the library and she was ruffling his hair.

“I’m trying to make it look like we were fooling around,” she said as she started unbuttoning his plaid shirt.

“Quit it,” he said, pushing her hands away.

She removed her hair tie and shook her hair up as well. “Undo your zipper,” she added with a nod towards his jeans.

“Why?” He began to refasten the buttons on his shirt, but she swatted at his hands.

“You have to make it look like you were undressed at some point,” she explained. “And then fix everything as you leave, so that people see you.” She twisted her skirt around her waist a bit and untucked part of the hem of her top.

Finn sighed and undid his buttons again, though he was going to leave his zipper alone.

“Now,” Stacey added, fetching a lipstick from her handbag, “the final touches.”

She applied it to her lips before putting it back in her bag and grabbed Finn by the front of his t-shirt. She planted a kiss on his mouth, causing him to push her away. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smeared lipstick everywhere.

“I thought we only had to do that in front of people,” he said.

“Just quit squirming,” she replied as she pulled him in again, this time kissing him on the jawline.

“Jesus,” he muttered, rolling his head back with a sigh of defeat. “This is ridiculous.”

She continued kissing him down his neck and onto his t-shirt, where he stopped her.

“Hey, that’s my favourite shirt!” he said, looking down at the mark she’d left.

Stacey rolled her eyes. “Relax, I’ll buy you a new one.”

“Now I have to walk around like this all day!”

“Trust me, it’ll do wonders for your rep,” she said before trailing her hands down his stomach to the top of his jeans. “Now, come on, we have to get out of here,” she added, quickly unzipping him and walking away.

“Hey!” he said as he chased after her, trying to get himself zipped up before anyone could see him. When he turned the corner at the end of the stacks, however, he realized it was too late.

A dozen of his fellow students were staring at him with his hand on his fly and his shirt billowing open, and he knew that things were about to become very different for him. If people were spreading rumours about him before, he could only imagine what they would say now.

***

Rae refused to believe it.

It was not possible.

There was no way.

There was no way that Finn let Stacey blow him in the Back Stacks, despite what everyone was saying.

“I dunno,” said Archie, eating one of Rae’s chips. “I was in the library when it happened, and I saw him emerge shortly after her with his shirt open.”

“That’s impossible,” Rae argued. “He’s not into that sort of thing, and besides, he hates Stacey.”

“You know what they say about hate and lust, right?”

“This is not that kind of hate,” she said. “His hatred for her is pure.”

“I’m just telling you what I saw,” he said.

“Maybe they were doing something else back there. Maybe they were having an argument and she ripped his shirt open to humiliate him.”

“His fly was down,” he added. “And he was covered in lipstick.”

“What?”

“The same lipstick on Stacey’s lips was all over Finn’s face and neck and t-shirt. And who knows what else.”

“Archie!”

“Sorry, but the evidence seems to be stacked against you,” he said.

She shook her head. “It can’t be true.”

“I’m not lying to you, Rae.”

“Well, then you’re wrong!”

“I know what I saw,” Archie said seriously. “And I’m sorry.”

***

“Sup, Nelson?”

“Not much, bro,” Finn said, lacking any hint of enthusiasm, however fake it may have been.

“Finn, hi!”

“Hi, Lana,” he said as he headed for his seat at the back of the classroom.

She followed him, even though her desk was nowhere near his. “Are you coming to my party this weekend?” she asked him.

“I dunno,” he said. “I guess that depends what Stacey feels like doing.”

“You should, it’s going to be a lot of fun!”

Finn had very little interest in going to another party with Stacey, though. It would just mean he’d have to sit around, doting on her and occasionally making out with her reluctantly. Not his idea of a fun time.

“We’re going to that party,” Stacey told him at lunch later that day. “Jason is going to be there, and I need to rub it in his face that I’m dating the most popular guy in school.”

“You’re not going to smear lipstick all over me again, are you?” Finn grumbled.

“I think once was enough to give people the right idea,” she said. She stroked his chest like she was smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. “Though we might need to get a little handsy in the corner of the room, just to drive the point home.”

“Jeez,” he said, turning his head away from her, but she grabbed the side of his face and swiveled him right back.

“If this is going to work, you need to commit to the role, got it?” she said. “Now, come on, kiss me.”

He rolled his eyes and went in for a kiss, and that was when he saw her. Rae, standing over by the wall and talking to her friend, Izzy. He started to lift his head back, but Stacey pulled him in closer. He couldn’t take his eyes off Rae, though.

All he could think was how much he would rather be with her right now. All the time, actually. He was such an idiot to end things with her just because some people made her feel insecure.

Yet here he was, making out with one of those people. The thought gave him a sick knot in his stomach.

Rae just happened to look in his direction as he was watching her, so he quickly shut his eyes and pretended he was really into what he was doing with Stacey.

“I have to get out of here,” Rae said to Izzy, lowering her head as she started to walk off.

“Where are you going?” said Izzy. “Class is about to start.”

“I’m going home.”

***

Finn tipped back his cup to get the last few drops of his drink into his mouth. “I need a refill,” he mumbled.

“I think you’ve had enough for now, babe,” Stacey said, placing a hand on his chest to keep him from walking away.

“You don’t get to tell me when I’ve had enough,” he said angrily. “That’s not the arrangement.”

She laughed nervously and looked around like she was making sure no one overheard him. “Oh, shit,” she added, clenching a fistful of his t-shirt. “There’s Jason. C’mon.”

She abruptly pushed him against the wall and started kissing the side of his neck. He tried not to grimace too much, in case people were watching.

“Grab my ass,” she murmured.

“What?”

“Just do it!”

He did as she commanded, grabbing her with his free hand while the other held onto his empty cup.

She slipped her hands up under his shirt onto his bare stomach and he flinched. “Try to pretend like you’re enjoying it, for Christ’s sake,” she said.

He lowered his head and nestled his face on the side of her neck to try and hide it. “How long do we have to do this?” he asked quietly.

“It seems like he’s about to leave, so another minute should be fine,” she whispered, turning her head away slightly so she could take a look. “And don’t just stand there like a lump; do something!”

He let out an exasperated huff and grasped her more firmly, kissing her roughly on her neck and shoulder.

“Oh, Finn,” she added, louder.

“What?” he snapped, stopping to look at her.

“I’m just trying to act like I’m into it, you moron,” she hissed before pressing her lips into his once again.

“Mm—” he moaned as her tongue entered his mouth aggressively. He hoped it sounded like he was enjoying it, even though it was rather displeasing.

She pushed herself off him after a minute and added, “Okay, that’s enough.”

“Thank god,” he said, looking around to make sure no one was watching before he wiped off his mouth with his sleeve. “I need another drink.”

“Get me something, too, babe,” Stacey said as he started to walk away.

He grunted in acknowledgement without looking back.

***

Finn reluctantly poured Stacey a drink after getting one for himself, though he didn’t take it to her right away. Instead he finished his right there and got a refill.

“Finn,” said some girl whose name he couldn’t remember. “Stacey is looking for you.”

He groaned took another swig from his cup. “Tell her I’ll be there in a minute,” he said. “And here, take this to her.” He handed her the other drink and went off in the opposite direction from where Stacey was waiting.

He wasn’t sure where he was going, exactly; he just needed to get away for a little while. He stumbled down a corridor full of people he vaguely recognized—though they were starting to blur together—until he reached a door with a big KEEP OUT sign on it.

He figured it would be the perfect place to escape to; no one would disturb him in there. It was clearly the bedroom of whoever’s party it was—Lana’s, maybe? He couldn’t remember.

He realized he’d probably get in trouble for being there, but it was worth it to get away from everything for a few minutes.

He took a seat on the unmade bed and downed the rest of his drink in one gulp. He crushed the plastic cup in his hand before tossing it on the floor, wondering what kind of monster he had become.

“Finn?”

He looked up at the sound of his name and saw Lana peeking into the room.

“Didn’t you read the sign?” she asked as she stepped into the room fully, closing the door behind her.

“Sorry,” he said, lowering his head. He got up and started heading to the door, but she took a step in front of him to stop him.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I don’t mind that you’re in here.”

“You don’t?”

She put her hand on his chest lightly and he backed away. He bumped into the bed with the back of his leg as she continued towards him.

“Have a seat,” she said, giving him a little push backwards.

He fell onto the bed with a bounce and she took a seat next to him.

“I’m glad you came tonight,” she added, letting her shoulder bump into his.

“Me too,” he said, not even trying to sound genuine. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, and looked down at his hands. “It’s a very nice party.”

“Thanks,” she said as she slipped her hand under his arm, on top of his thigh.

He cleared his throat out of discomfort with the situation. “Good selection of music,” he continued.

“You think so?” Her hand slid further up his leg. “That’s really sweet.”

“No problem.” He laughed nervously and fidgeted his hands together.

“You’re really sweet, Finn,” she said as she reached the front pocket of his jeans.

“Wait,” he said, grabbing her hand. “Rae’s just out there.”

She frowned in confusion. “Rae didn’t even come tonight.”

“Er, I meant Stacey.” He shook his head.

“She doesn’t deserve you,” said Lana, giving his leg a squeeze. “You’re special, Finn, and she doesn’t see that.”

“Special?” he asked, turning his head toward her.

“There’s not many guys like you in the world.” She smiled at him sincerely. “You’re a rare breed.”

“It’s probably a good thing that more people aren’t like me,” he said as he lowered his head again.

“Don’t be silly,” she said. She angled herself towards him and lifted his chin with her other hand. “You’re so kind and thoughtful.”

“You think?”

“I’ve always liked you, Finn,” she added, drawing her face closer to his. “Before everyone else liked you.”

“That’s… nice,” he said. He wasn’t sure he believed her, because she’d never spoken to him before he became popular.

“You deserve someone who can truly appreciate you. Someone who’s willing to do anything for you.” She backed off from him and stood up, and Finn thought that maybe she was about to leave him alone, but she didn’t.

Instead she reached under one arm and started to unzip her dress. He watched in disbelief as she lifted off the dress and stood in front of him in her underwear.

He’d never seen a girl with her clothes off, except on film, and he was torn between wanting to indulge his curiosity by looking, and wanting to run away.

“Stacey may be up for a bit of messing around, but we all know she’s frigid when it comes to some stuff,” she said, pushing him back as she climbed on top of him.

***

Finn woke up with such a pounding head that it took him several minutes to realize he wasn’t in his own bed. He sat up quickly and looked around for some clue as to where the hell he was.

He couldn’t remember anything about the past night or why he wasn’t at home. The room around him looked vaguely familiar, probably because he had seen it before he passed out. That was all he could figure out until the door opened.

Lana walked into the room wearing Finn’s t-shirt as a very short dress, and she smiled when she saw he was awake. “Sleep well?” she asked.

“What?” he said hoarsely. “What am I doing here?”

“You slept here,” she answered.

“Why?”

“You were all tuckered out after what happened last night, remember?”

“What happened last night?” he asked.

She nodded towards him and he looked down to see that he was wearing nothing but his boxer shorts.

“No…” he said. “I didn’t…” He pressed his palm against his forehead. “I couldn’t have…”

“I won’t tell anyone,” she said as she lifted off his t-shirt she was wearing. “Here, you might want this back. I just borrowed it to go to the bathroom, in case anyone was still out there.”

He snatched the shirt from her hands quickly, trying not to look at her. “There are people still here?”

“Yeah, some people just pass out on the floor and stuff.”

“I have to get out of here before anyone sees me,” he muttered as he put on his shirt, scanning the room for his jeans.

Lana picked them up off the floor and handed them to him as well.

“I’m really glad you came,” she said once he was dressed and heading for the door.

“I’m really sorry,” he replied before he left.

***

“Are you a complete idiot?” Stacey hollered at Finn on Monday when there was no one within earshot. “If you’re going to sleep with other girls, don’t do it at a party in front of _everybody_! Now I have to dump you to save my dignity!”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, still nursing a bit of a headache.

“Everyone knows you went into Lana’s bedroom on Saturday night,” she explained. “And no one saw you leave until Sunday morning.”

“Everyone knows?”

“Yes, it’s all people can talk about.”

“Oh, no…” he said, shaking his head.

“I know, this is terrible for me—”

“I do not care how this affects you at all, Stacey,” he cut in. “I have to go find someone, so excuse me.”

He pushed past her and didn’t stop when she called after him.

***

Rae didn’t want to be at school anymore, not after she heard the news. But she had a quiz in one of her classes that she couldn’t afford to miss, so she stuck around through lunch.

She wasn’t very talkative however; Izzy and Archie had to carry most of the conversation. She mostly just stared at her lunch without even eating it.

When Finn saw her at her usual table, he hesitated to go up to her, uncertain of what he was going to say. She got up from her seat as soon as she saw him, though, and started walking in the opposite direction. Without a second thought, he chased after her.

“Rae!” he called out when he caught up to her with a jog in his step.

“What do you want?” she snapped, stopping dead in her tracks.

“Why did you run away just now?”

“I was walking.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t really want to talk to you right now,” she said. “Or ever.”

“Look, I don’t know what happened, Rae,” he pleaded. “I swear, I can’t remember anything, so if something did happen, it wasn’t me!”

“It wasn’t you?” she asked skeptically.

“I mean, it was me, but I was so drunk that it wasn’t really me, right?”

“That’s not an excuse,” she said. “Besides, we’re not together anymore so you can do whatever you want.”

“I didn’t want to do anything with her, with any of them!” he said.

Rae folded her arms impatiently. “Then maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t,” he replied. “I was only drinking so I could deal with Stacey and her bullshit.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t think I’ve actually been dating her, do you?”

“That’s what it looks like to me.”

He rubbed his temples. “It’s all just a huge fucking lie,” he said. “I don’t even know why I went along with it—”

“You’re weak, Finn,” she said.

“What?”

“You’re so afraid of losing your social status that you don’t care who you hurt.”

“Rae…” He took a step towards her but she backed away.

“But pretending to date Stacey is one thing,” she continued. “It’s a whole other thing to actually fuck someone when you wouldn’t even… I mean, we never… I thought you didn’t want… Ugh!” She clutched the sides of her head in frustration.

“You don’t know that’s what happened, though,” he said.

“It’s what everyone’s saying.”

“Yeah, but only two people were actually in that room that night, and one of them was me. And I can’t remember what happened.”

“Did you even ask her?”

“I…” he began, but he didn’t know what to say. Why hadn’t he asked Lana what happened? Maybe because he was afraid of what the answer might be.

***

“I’m so glad you invited me over,” Lana said as she brought her mug of tea to her lips.

“I just needed to talk to you in private,” said Finn, watching the steam wafting off his own mug.

“Okay.”

“Nobody knows you’re here, do they?” he asked as he glanced at her. “I wouldn’t want more rumours spreading.”

“I didn’t tell anyone,” she said.

“Good.” He lowered his head again. “I need to know exactly what happened Saturday night.”

“Well, there was a party at my house…”

“I know that, I just can’t remember anything else.”

“Yeah, you were pretty drunk,” she laughed.

“Is it true… what people are saying about us?” he said.

“Well, you did spend the night in my bed,” she said with a shrug. “But if you’re concerned about me telling people what really happened, don’t worry. I won’t.”

“Why, what really happened?” he asked apprehensively.

She frowned at him. “You honestly don’t remember at all?”

“I think I remember you… getting undressed in front of me…” It hurt his head trying to remember all the details.

“I did,” she said, nodding. “And then I tried to kiss you, but you kept saying you felt itchy.”

“Itchy?”

She laughed a little. “Eventually you pushed me aside so you could take off your clothes, too,” she said. “You said they were too itchy. I thought maybe you were using that as an excuse to get naked, so I just went with it, but when I tried to touch you, you pushed me away.”

“Eventually you wrapped yourself in my blankets because you said they were soft,” she continued. “Then you muttered something about Rae and fell asleep.”

“I said something about Rae?” he asked.

“Yeah, something about trust, or… I don’t know, I’d been drinking, too, so I don’t remember absolutely everything, but yeah.”

“So we didn’t… do anything?”

“No, but I chalked that up to you being drunk,” she said. “I don’t hold it against you. And I’m willing to give it another shot.” She rubbed her foot against his leg under the table and smiled at him.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know if—”

“It’s okay, now that you broke up with Stacey you won’t be betraying anyone,” she said. “I could tell that was bothering you. You’re such a sweet guy, Finn.”

“I think you misunderstand why I invited you here today,” he said.

“Oh,” she said, her smile fading.

“I’m sorry, just, I’m… in love with someone else.”

***

“I’m fine, mum,” Rae said over the phone. “It’s just a stomach bug, but I can take care of myself. You don’t need to come home.”

She couldn’t face the idea of going to school, so she manufactured an illness in order to stay home for a few days. But the last thing she wanted was her mother hovering around taking care of her.

There was a knock at the door as soon as she hung up the phone. She wasn’t sure if she should answer it, but the person wouldn’t stop knocking.

She was surprised to see who it was when she opened the door.

“Nothing happened,” Finn said like he was out of breath.

“What?” she asked, folding her arms across her stomach when she realized she was still wearing her housecoat.

“With Lana,” he said rapidly. “Or Stacey. Or anyone. I mean, I kissed Stacey in public a few times, just to keep up appearances, but—”

“Slow down, all right?” She took a deep breath and then stepped aside to let him into the house so he could talk at a normal pace. “What do you mean, nothing happened? You spent the night in Lana’s bedroom.”

“Yes, but that’s literally all I did,” he explained. “I took off my clothes, then wrapped myself in her blankets and fell asleep. That’s it.”

“You took off your clothes?”

“Only because I was drunk and thought they were itchy.”

Rae looked like she still didn’t believe him.

“I swear! I mean, I was so drunk, I probably couldn’t have done it even if I wanted to,” he said. “Which I didn’t.”

“You didn’t?” she said skeptically.

“Lana said I kept pushing her away.”

She tried not to laugh at the thought.

“You know how I hate it when people touch me,” he added, suppressing a smile as well.

“You sure let Stacey do a lot of it.”

“And I hated it.”

“What about me?” she asked. “Did you hate when I touched you?”

He shook his head seriously. “You’re the only one I want touching me,” he said. “I don’t know why I said we weren’t right for each other. I mean, if you can’t trust me, then it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s not your fault,” she cut in. “I was letting other people get to me, even though I knew in my gut that you were completely trustworthy.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t have to go around the library with other girls. I should have thought about how that would look.” He let his head hang. “I’m really sorry for everything.”

“No, I’m sorry,” she replied, shuffling her foot.

“Rae?”

She looked up at him.

“I love you,” he said without lifting his gaze to make eye contact.

“Finn,” she said as she reached out and touched his arm.

He finally faced her and she tugged him closer by the sleeve of his shirt.

She planted a kiss on his cheek. “I love you, too.”


End file.
